Parenting

 So, parenting can be a very hard job. You are literally raising children to be good people and to adults. What is the purpose of parenting? The purpose is to love your kids and teach them, to prepare them for life, to protect and prepare our children, to survive and thrive in the world in which they live in. Children need to learn respect, cooperation, and response-ability. 

    Who owns the problems? Parents need to do the poute request, then say the "I feel...", then they need to be firmer, then come up with a logical consequence... (If/ then, logical, firm/ friendly, try again). For teens/ children need natural consequences, except: too dangerous, too far in future, harm others. Both the parents and child need to discuss and talk the problem out and agree on what the consequences are going to be and make sure that they are reasonable and that they will learn something from their consequences. 

    Needs of child/ teens: contact and belonging, protection, power, withdrawal, challenge

    Child's mistaken approach: undue attention seeking, control others rebellion, revenge, undue avoidance, undue risk taking

    Parental Response: offer contract freely, choices plus consequences equals response-ability, assertiveness / forgiveness, take a break and then go back to work, to develop skills 

     It is very important as a parent to show love to your kids all the time, even when they are doing things your do not agree with, but we love them anyway. Make your kids always welcomed and loved and supported. Make sure you do not make it seem that you will get mad at them do doing something. You want your kids to talk to you and tell you things and make them not feel judged by you guys. My parents are the ones that would get mad or overreact on something I would tell them, so I do not tell my parents and just talk to my siblings, so I am not really close with my parents which is kind of sad. When I am a parent, I will be friends with them and be open with them and have conversations that we do not fight, and we will be close. I really want a good relationship with my kids. My aunt and uncle are super open and when I talk to them, I do not feel like I am getting in trouble. I just want my kids to be able to talk to me and not feel like they will get in trouble and that they will trust me and that we can have fun with each other. I just want a fun, good, and close relationship with my family. I just cannot wait to have my own family and be able to have my own kids and raise them and have fun with them. I want a close and happy family. I think communication is key to making your relationships with your children good and make sure you both are on the same page on choices and consequences. I think that it is okay that if children mess up because that is how they learn so the parents need to be disciplined toward their children but then also they need to be reasonable and not overreact and get mad. My family is happy and close but not really because I am not really big on telling my parents anything because I feel like they judge me and I feel like I will get in trouble or they will have to commit on it and try to tell me what I have to do. Just so excited to have my own family.