Dating

       Dating today is way different than it was 30 years ago. Today people aren't going on that many dates, they are hanging out with people but not dating. When my dad was growing up he would ask a lot of girls out and take them on dates because that was the thing back then. Now days people just ask people if they want to hang out instead of going on a date because I think that people are scared of rejection, or just afraid to ask, and trust. I think that hanging out is fine when you are trying to get to know each other, then if you are interested then why not just go on dates instead of hanging out. 

    When dating the dates should be planned, paid for, and paired off, so the men should protect, provide, and preside while on the date. I think that the men should do these things on a date, to show that they are a gentleman, care, and actually want to be there. The more dates you go on, you can know what you like about guys and different qualities they have, so you can discern for marriage. I think it is important to go on a lot of dates to see what different guys do and how they act. You need to see make sure you are looking at your options of different people and their qualities. Also, dating is important for women to practice their nurturing skills just by listening and giving feedback, talking, letting the guys know what is important. 

    How do we KNOW someone? We use the Three T's. TOGETHERNESS: which involves activities together. TALK: mutual self-disclosure, being about to share your thoughts and feelings with each other. TIME: spending time with each other is every important because how do you get to know each other is you don't put in time. Also, three months is the minimum to begin to know each other. 

    Another thing that makes dating hard, is that there are more people so a lot more options, so it makes it hard to commit. Especially now when there is online dating. People that don't even know each other start talking because of the internet, then that might lead to something, but most likely not. I think that it is always better to just meet in person. 

    Also, one thing for me is I think that people should rush into a relationship, like if you just went on a date with a guy, doesn't mean you're going to marry the guy. I think that you can go on a date with a person, but don't try to jump into something with barley knowing that person. I think that you should develop a friendship first then maybe in the future you can see something there and you date. We do end up marrying our best friend. So you need to be friends first I think to build your relationship.

    The relationship attachment model is something that is used to help determine if a relationship is healthy. There are five components to this model, Know, Trust, Rely, Commit, and Touch. In these sections the "know" should be higher than any other one. If touch is higher than any other one, then the relationship is unhealthy. Meaning that in a relationship in where you are touching each other more than getting know each other, trusting each other, relying on each other, committing to each other, and all you are doing is touching each other is not good, you are getting attached to one other just from touch, and not really letting time to get to really know each other. 

    It is important to date a handful of different guys and see what you like in guys. You need to make sure you are looking for a guy that can be your eternal companion. You really do need to really know each other before you get married.