Family Theories

 

       What is a theory? A theory is an attempt to explain an observation or something. There are different types of theories, Exchange theory, Conflict Theory, Symbolic Interaction Theory, and Family Systems Theory. Exchange Theory is when not getting much out of the relationship... you put more into it then you get out of it. Conflict Theory is limited supply, for example, making decisions, bills, who's house do we go to the first Christmas too. Do we discipline our kids? It's not bad, it natural, it helps give you more perspective on things. Symbolic Interaction Theory are human relationships, people saying "hi", how you interpret things, people's behavior. Family Systems Theory is more of a model... the rules and roles in the family. How we learn the rules are sometimes by breaking them. 

     Each family is different in how they do things. Some have rules and unspoken rules. In my own family one of our unspoken rules is that everyone has to be home at 6:00 PM for dinner. We also have to get up early, we can't sleep in. One of my family's rules is that we have to help clean up after dinner; we work until everything gets finished. Also, in families each person plays different roles in their own family. Like my mom is the nurturer and teaches us to love others, my dad teaches us to work hard and he works to support the family. In my family there are nine kids, we all bring something to the family, we all have different personalities. The oldest is like the leader of the pack, he is like a dad to me, he is super smart and kind to all. The second child is more quiet, but funny and a talker once you get to know him. The third, is a good listener, and fun to be around. The fourth is like a mini mom, she is kind to all, and a good baker. The fifth, is a peacemaker and always makes sure he looks good. The Sixth, is the one to make everyone laugh and have a good time and she also is the garage despoil, she eats anything and everything. Then there's me, I am the crazy and a good helper. The eighth, is super smart, she is a reader and hangs out with her friends a lot. The ninth, he is a stud, he is a funny guy and loves to be right all the time, he thinks he knows everything. He is a dare devil. He isn't scared of anything. In my family my brothers and sisters and I have different personalities and ideas that makes our family function. We need to realize that everyone in the family have different personalities and that you need to figure out how to adjust your relationship with each of them and understand their perspectives on things. 

       When you get married, you have to talk about the roles and rules that you're going to have in the family. For example, you'll have to talk about if you're going to discipline your children or not. How you will discipline them, if you do end up going to discipline them. What rules you're going to set within your own family. Like if you're going to eat dinner as a family at the table at a certain time, or like how much time you will allow your kids to spend on electronic, etc... We need to discuss these things, so you know you're on the same page in raising children together. But if you have conflict figuring it out it's okay, because conflict it healthy and normal. 

        

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